


Nostri Daemones

by theghostofenj



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fights, M/M, Shane and Sara are friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-06 03:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12808932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theghostofenj/pseuds/theghostofenj
Summary: Don't point out the obvious or everything might get out of control.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> big thanks to 50shadesofwheeze for giving me the prompts for each chapter!

As the post mortem came to a close, Ryan all but ran out of the room. Shane sighed, feeling his heart sink with every step Ryan took. He stood, turning off the camera and took out the memory card, stashing it in his pocket until he could give it to one of the editors.

As much chemistry the two hosts had on the show, behind the scenes it was almost a complete radio silence from Ryan. Shane tried to be optimistic about it, Ryan probably just had stuff to do, but noticing the way Ryan couldn’t sit longer than five minutes alone with him, Shane knew it was something else.

He walked out of the room, dropping off the memory card with the editors, and went back to his desk. Ryan had already stationed himself in his desk, which of course had to be right next to Shane’s. He didn’t say anything as Shane sat down to do some work of his own.

It was easy to delve into the rhythm of working. He could focus on the little details of his projects and not the sinking feeling in his gut every time Ryan shifted farther and farther away from Shane. 

It was like this most days. Ryan desperately trying to get away and Shane feeling helpless about it. The daily routine, some might call it.

Finally, after a night of drinking and a morning with a particularly bad hangover, Shane had enough. He had accidentally brushed Ryan’s hand when he went to get a sticky note, and the other man pulled back as if he’d been burned.

“Why do you hate me?” Shane almost shouted, putting down the sticky note and turning to face Ryan. The normal smile on his face had disappeared and was replaced with a look of anger and desperation.

“I… I don’t hate you,” Ryan muttered, feeling awkward in the silence that followed Shane’s outburst.

“Then why can’t you stand to be touched by me or, god forbid, be alone with me.” Shane’s voice was filled with emotion, and he desperately wished he could calm   
down, but after months of ignoring the situation, he couldn’t hold back the waves of fear and anger and sadness that filled his chest..

“You just don’t understand,” Ryan whispered, standing from his chair.

Shane stood up quickly, blocking Ryan’s path. 

“You don’t get to leave in the middle of this. Not until I get an answer,” he said, mustering up all the force he could.

“I don’t owe you shit!” Ryan yelled, his body shaking, and Shane noticed the tears in his eyes. 

“At this point you kinda do!” he yelled back, feeling his own body start to collapse into itself.

“No I don’t! Leave me alone! I can’t tell you…. you just don’t understand anything Shane Madej!” Ryan pushed past Shane, leaving him stunned and confused. 

Shane looked around, blushing slightly under the gaze of his even more so confused coworkers. He closed out his computer and left, and if anyone noticed the tears   
in his eyes, well, that would just have to be addressed at another time.


	2. Chapter 2

Ryan hadn’t been to work in days and Shane was starting to get worried. To be honest, he was worried from the moment Ryan stormed out, but now it was almost unbearable. 

His coworkers had stopped asking questions at this point. He would occasionally get a question from Jen or Sara, but for the most part, everyone had accepted that Shane didn’t know what was going on.

Shane was ready to look for someone to do the post mortem with him, when Ryan walked into the office for the first time in almost a week. He didn’t look good, his eyes were puffy and he didn’t look like he was the one who decided to come into work.

He sat down next to Shane, not saying anything. Shane cleared his throat, looking at Ryan expectantly. 

“What do you need?” Ryan said, the tone of his voice sounded almost robotic with the lack of emotion in it.

“Can we talk. Like, properly talk?” Shane asked.

Ryan looked at him, and Shane could see the red in his eyes. “I don’t think so.” 

“Ryan please.”

“No Shane! You’re a disappointment! I don’t need to talk to you!” Ryan snapped, turning back to his computer.

Shane was speechless. He could feel as his heart broke into pieces and it became harder to breathe. He stood up, not feeling his body move, and walked into the bathroom.

Shane locked the door behind him, dropping to the floor and holding a hand over his mouth to muffle his sobs. He didn’t know what he had done to disappoint 

Ryan, he still didn’t know what Ryan hated him, and now, the one thing they could work on together was probably going to have to end because of this fight.

Shane let himself cry for a while, rather it be in the bathroom and not next to Ryan. He felt a sense of childlike immaturity as he sobbed. He was crying over someone who clearly didn’t like him, just because he felt like he needed to be liked.

Shane wiped his eyes and splashed some water on his face, trying to make himself presentable. He sighed, accepting it as the best he would get, and left the bathroom.

Ryan was sitting at his desk, pretending to work, but Shane saw how he had barely even started on the document he had opened. 

Shane sat down, turning his computer back on and tried to work.

“Shane, I -”

“No. If you don’t want to talk to me, then don’t bother trying to apologize.” Shane said curtly.

“I just -”

“I said don’t Bergara, just… just don’t.”


	3. Chapter 3

It was starting to become a problem. Shane would walk in, see Ryan sitting at his desk, and decide it would be a day to work outside, to get some fresh air. On the days Shane got to work before him, Ryan would decide it’s a good day to spend some time on the other side of the office.

It all came to a head when Shane got an email from HR. His heart sank when he read it.

_Mr. Madej and Mr. Bergara,_

_We have noticed that you two haven’t been cooperating as well as you used to, and it seems to be impacting the filming of Buzzfeed Unsolved. If this issue doesn’t get resolved, we will consider ending Buzzfeed Unsolved._

_\- HR_

Shane closed his laptop and put his head in his hands. He knew how much Unsolved meant to Ryan, and this couldn’t be the end of it. He put his head on the desk, letting himself think everything over.

His thoughts were interrupted, however, with a tap on his shoulder. He looked up, and Shane saw Ryan staring down at him.

“I know you got the email.” Ryan said.

Shane nodded, trying to read his expression. “I know how much Unsolved means to you, so maybe we can just ignore this for the camera,” he said slowly.

Ryan nodded and pursed his lips. “Thank you.” 

Ryan turned and walked off, leaving Shane alone once more. Shane sighed, rubbing his forehead. All he wanted was to have Ryan at least tolerate him, but at the rate that this was going, Shane didn’t think that was possible anymore. 

He saved the document he was working on and went to find Sara. He was glad that they split up on good terms, because she was always the person he could turn to.

“Sara can I talk to you?” Shane asked, standing behind Sara’s desk. She looked at him, frowning at his disheartened expression. Sara stood up, taking Shane by the   
arm and leading him to the break room.

“What’s going on?” she asked. 

“I talked with Ryan. We decided to put things aside for Unsolved, because HR said that if we didn’t fix it, they’d cancel the show.”

Sara gasped, shocked at HR’s decision. “They couldn’t do that! I’m glad you and Ryan figured things out. He still loves you, even with this fight.”

Shane frowned, looking at Sara with confusion. “We only put things aside on camera. And what do you mean, ‘still loves me’? He never did! Even if he did, I don’t deserve to be loved, especially not by him!”

Shane felt tears prickling in his eyes, and he kicked himself for being so emotional. He had made things clear with Ryan. They wouldn’t talk unless it’s for Unsolved.

“Don’t say that Shane!” Sara said, wrapping her arms around him, holding him to her chest. Shane let his head fall and cried into her shoulder. He hadn’t had anyone   
with him and now he couldn’t carry on in the way he was.

The door to the break room opened, and Shane looked up to see Ryan walk in. He stopped when he saw Shane and Sara, quickly turning around to leave, slamming the door behind him. 

Shane went numb and he felt Sara move him to a sitting position. So this is what hell feels like.


	4. Chapter 4

Shane walked into the room where they shoot Post Mortems with an overwhelming sense of dread. He silently thanked every god that there ever was and ever will be that they prefilm all the season’s episodes.

He sat down and pulled up the questions on his phone. He wasn’t sure if Ryan had picked out any questions, and there was no way he’d be able to spend time in a room alone with Ryan as he scrolled through pages of questions oblivious to the situation at hand. 

Ryan walked in a few minutes later, a fake smile plastered to his face. 

Shane cleared his throat. “Hey.”

Ryan looked over at him, taking his seat next to Shane. He didn’t say anything, just took out his phone and pulled up his photos. 

“I picked out some questions,” Ryan said shortly. “I can do most of the talking.”

Shane sighed, trying to ignore the disappointment that filled his gut. He knew he shouldn’t have even considered the idea that Ryan would be ok with all of this, but he did anyway. 

“Could you just give me a chance?” Shane asked, desperation filling his lungs. 

“I am. That’s why I haven’t kicked you off of this show,” Ryan growled, his hands curled into fists at his sides.

Shane stopped, putting his phone back into his pocket and avoiding Ryan’s eyes. 

“Let’s just start this,” Shane whispered, standing to turn on the camera. 

Ryan took a deep breath and put the smile back on his face. “Welcome to Buzzfeed Unsolved Postmortem, a show where we answering your most pressing questions about the most recent episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved which wa - …” 

Shane zoned out as Ryan started the episode, his mind racing and trying to calm his nerves.   
Shane felt Ryan kick his leg from under the table and he turned his attention back on the video. 

“Um yeah what?” Shane asked trying to focus on the show.

Ryan sighed and put his phone down. “This isn’t going to work.” 

Shane looked over at Ryan, confused. “What do you mean? I thought we decided to put aside whatever is happening for the show?”

Ryan shook his head. “We did but it’s not working. I don’t need you anymore. I’ll just find a new host. Just… leave me alone. Please.” 

Ryan didn’t sound angry anymore, and when Shane looked at him, he saw the amount of sadness in the other man’s eyes. 

“Ryan…” Shane started, but Ryan cut him off.

“Please, just leave.” 

Shane stood up, letting his body take him out of the room. He walked to his desk and grabbed his computer, put it in his bag, and walked out of the office. 

He made it all the way to his car before his emotions took over. He slammed the door as he got in and started to cry. It was all over.


	5. Chapter 5

Shane wasn’t sure where to go next. Losing Ryan was hard enough, and now he was losing Buzzfeed Unsolved. He still had Debatable and other side projects and random videos, but how could he walk into work every day and see the last person in the world that would want to see him?

Shane decided to work next to Sara for the day and packed up some stuff before Ryan got into the office. Shane sighed, slouching in the chair next to Sara. The space was cramped, seeing as he was trying to work in between two desks, but it was better than the alternative.

He hated to admit how focused he was, not monitoring every breath that he took, trying to make sure Ryan didn’t think something was up. Shane sighed, slouching on his desk, hitting send on some emails. 

“If you keep sighing I’m kicking you out,” Sara warned, keeping her eyes on her screen. 

“Would you prefer groaning in unsatisfaction?” Shane replied snarkily, feeling slightly better talking normally.

“No that wouldn- Oh shit…” Sara began to speak but abruptly backtracked. 

Shane looked up, trying to see what had gotten Sara to stop. His breathing stopped as he saw Ryan walking over, determined and looking right at Shane. 

Ryan stood behind Shane’s chair, leaving space between them. 

“I came to say goodbye,” Ryan stated, holding a hand out, seemingly looking for Shane to shake it. 

Shane took a deep breath and shook Ryan’s hand, trying to keep a fake smile on his face.

“Have you found someone to replace me?” Shane asked, even though he knew he didn’t want an answer. 

Ryan shook his head. “I don’t really know what to do next. I may be taking a hiatus for a while. From Unsolved, from Buzzfeed, from…” he let the last word hang in the air, leaving everyone else aware of what he wanted to say next.

“So that’s it? It’s over?” Shane asked. He wasn’t sure what he was asking. Was this the end of Ryan and Shane? Buzzfeed Unsolved? Both?

Ryan looked like he wanted to nod, but didn’t move. “I don’t know yet. I - I don’t know what happened between us, but right now, we can’t move on just yet. Maybe someday, but not now, just, please not now.” 

Ryan looked at Shane one more time, gave him a wave, and left, leaving the room confused.

“What the hell just happened?” Sara asked, breaking the tense silence. 

“I don’t know. I wanted to just, hate him! Why couldn’t he let me have that?” Shane whined. At this point, he had cried out all his tears, and the self hating pity along with it. 

“Shane,” Sara said, turning Shane’s shitty rolling chair to face he. “What is this really about? This, fight or whatever you want to call it!”

“I don’t know,” Shane admitted. “I just want my friend back. I don’t know if he was my friend actually, but Unsolved was one of the best thing that ever happened to me. It was fun, and I miss it. I just wish it hadn’t ended this way.” 

Shane sighed, resting his head on Sara’s arm. She reached up, running his fingers through his hair. “You’ll figure it out, I know you will. Look on the bright side, that was the first conversation you two have had in weeks.”

Shane nodded numbly. “Yeah, the bright side.”

**Author's Note:**

> follow my tumblr @unsolved-wheezes


End file.
